Thursday, November 01, 2012

Recognizing the Signs of Domestic Violence

A joint study between The Centers for Disease Control and the National Institute of Justice found that one in every four women has experienced violence in her lifetime. This number is not only frightening, but it is also tragedy for every mother; daughter; sister; wife; neighbor and female co-worker that you personally encounter every day. It is important to understand the cycle of battering, if we are to break it and help those who may be victims of abuse.

Though there are variations on behavior, the descriptions of the phases of battering have been recognized as the patterns experienced by victims of chronic abuse. Please use this information as a warning guide of sorts, share it with your family and friends.

The Phases of Domestic Violence
  1. The Tension Building Stage: Abuse occurs in small increments initially, with the woman coping with the abuse and controlling the situation by placating to the abuser. She works to control external factors, the kind that will “set him off.” The perceived control works for a while, but he becomes more oppressive over a shorter recovery time and eventually explodes.
  2. The Acute Battering Stage: A very short period of time, characterized by abuse that is completely out of control and devastating. While most people think of this as a phase marked by physical violence, it is completely possible for acute battering to be a vicious attack. Abuse only stops when the attacker is physically exhausted. Both the abuser and the abused tend to deny the attack, and they minimize the brutality.
  3. The Loving Behavior Stage: Characterized by promises to change, apologetic behavior and grand gestures in the pursuit of forgiveness. Gifts are often a large component in this stage.
Phase One – The Tension Building Stage

Minor battering incidents will occur, during which the woman will choose any one of several techniques she previously managed to calm her abuser with. It is possible that she will be nurturing, compliant, the person fulfilling his every wish or she may choose to retreat completely.

As tension builds, she does not allow herself to get angry with her abuser. Denial becomes a coping mechanism for personal anger, and it is matched with the strange bedfellow rationalization of the abuse. In other words, it is very possible for someone who is abused to talk convince themselves that they deserve the treatment they are receiving.

The situation escalates, with the woman trying to control the external factors that cause abuse to flare but the battle is like a finger in the dam. The batterer knows that the behavior is wrong, but there is no real reason for him to change his actions in a society that refuses to acknowledge the true impact of domestic abuse.
As his personal acknowledgement of the behavior grows, the abuser fears that his spouse will leave and he turns to oppression; possession and jealousy in the hope that his iron rule will keep her in the household.

Tension can build for periods close to a decade, with both the abuser and the abused rationalizing that things will “never” make it to the acute battering stage. The simple truth is that there comes a point at which the oppressor simply will not respond to any of the old controls, the ways of minimizing the abusive behavior, and some external trigger will usher in the next phase.

There is a terrifying point of no return.

Phase Two – The Acute Battering Stage
Whereas the past was characterized by minor incidents of verbal or physical abuse, this stage is characterized by a completely uncontrolled discharge of tension built over months or years. Both the abused party and the abuser do accept that the rage of the abuser is completely out of control, but he is blind as to the “why” or “how” of what did happen.

In Phase Two, it is important to remember that:
  1. The rage starts as a “lesson,” one initially not intended to do injury, but it only stops when the rage has left him physically incapable of causing more harm.
  2. The trigger is rarely an offense committed by the woman, but is more likely an outside factor or some internal state for the man. There are instances where women in a longtime abusive relationship, typically be women who have lived in Phase One for years, will intentionally trigger an outburst as a method for coping with the abuse. Her belief is that getting the rage “over with” will allow her to be in control.
  3. This phase rarely goes for more than a full day.
  4. No matter what kind of coping mechanism is used, the harsh reality is that Phase Two ends when the abuser finally does allow it to end.
If you are a family member or friend of someone who you suspect has experienced a Phase Two incident, expect:
  1. On onset of behavioral changes in the abused before the attack. Anxiety, depression and sleeplessness are all frequent symptoms that you should be watching for.
  2. Her spouse is typically unable to describe much of what happened during the attack, and both the abused and the abuser will deny and minimize the severity of what took place.
  3. She will feel psychologically trapped, only seeking help if there is an injury that she views as “severe enough” to see medical attention.
  4. If there is intervention by the authorities, expect both the abused and the abuser to claim that there is not a “real” problem. Due to the way an abusive relationship is structured, the abused will often verbally attack the police in her attempt to avoid further abuse at the hands of the abuser. She feels that showing loyalty will lessen his anger, but it does not.
Phase Three – “I love you. Here are some flowers.”

Oppression, violence and battery eventually bring all abusers to a point at which they realize “I went too far.” The problem is that the abuser does not realize that the application of the pent-up emotion, the control, is not simply going to vanish from the marriage. This time of flowers, promises of better behavior, dropped divorce proceedings and calm is just another leg in the journey back toward Phase One. Oppression seeps back in, and coping begins anew.

In closing:

A life of oppression and manipulation is NOT a life. Take the information from this article, as well as the simple checklist below and build a better world for EVERY woman.

Does your partner:

  1. Put you down?
  2. Act in ways that scare you?
  3. Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?
  4. Control all financial decisions?
  5. Make all household decisions?
  6. Threaten to physically harm your child?

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

It’s unusual not to know someone who has been touched by breast cancer in the year 2012, whereas in the year 1967 or even 1985 the isolation of this cancer seemed so different.  I’d love to think that the only reason for this can be found in our connected world, but the statistics regarding breast cancer just don’t support the idea.  The reality is that breast cancer is increasing its hold on women and, much like domestic violence, the only way we can really conquer breast cancer is knowledge and having a plan.  I’ve collected some information for you in the following breast cancer awareness article, and I encourage you to please take the numbers to heart and definitely check out the site suggested to build an early detection plan.  If you are in Tennessee, please also take some time to check out the Tennessee Breast Cancer Coalition.  Make your health a priority!


October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, a campaign run each year to increase the awareness regarding breast cancer on both a national and an international level to some degree. While it’s true that most people are already aware of breast cancer, there’s very often an obliviousness associated with taking steps to have a plan to detect the disease in its early stages. We all encourage each other to be aware of breast cancer, but so often we just stop the discussion with the word “diligence.”

In order to have the idea of preparation plan take root, it’s necessary to share some facts The National Breast Cancer Awareness Month (NBCAM) as well as facts that you will find covered by several professional medical associations. It’s our hope that any facts that are shared will encourage our readers, or even their spouses, to chat with a doctor regarding the benefits of early detection and plans for continual monitoring of healthy breasts.

  • Aside from skin cancer, women in the United States are diagnosed with breast cancer more than any other form of cancer.

  • Roughly one in eight (just a little under 12%) of all women in the United States will develop invasive breast cancer over the course of her lifetime.

  • Early detection could honestly be considered the ONLY way to fight breast cancer, and having an early detection plan can help you fight the good battle.

There are countless online resources intended to help raise breast cancer awareness amongst women in the United States, but the reality is that few provide more credible information and tools than the National Breast Cancer Foundation. One of the newest online tools for the National Breast Cancer Foundation website is their Early Detection Plan. An early detection plan for breast cancer helps create a proactive approach to health, reminding you to perform things as simple as routine breast self-examinations and to schedule clinical exams like mammograms.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

LIPO IN A BOX Shapewear on QVC and Dr. Oz both-- was a good day!

Yesterday was quite an incredible day. 

I really enjoyed my first time to be a guest on the NEW ‘Fashionably Early Show’ with Pat and Jayne.  The NEW product from LIPO IN A BOX, I introduced to you on Monday morning was our Totally Seamless Open Bust Camisole – it’s perfect for this time of year!

There is absolutely no worry about what bust size you are when considering this versatile slimming camisole.  The open bust style accommodates any bra size or style of bra, while providing excellent support and smoothing to the back, tummy and midriff.  It has shaping bands woven into the garment to control and support in all the areas you want it.  We loosen the weave at the bottom which helps it stay in place with pants, jean, skirts, jeggings, capris, shorts, and most of your fashion choices.

If you enjoyed our customer top rated LIPO IN A BOX Full Back, Open Front Bodysuit A214669/46638, you will love this NEW camisole.  I have noticed with all the snug fitting jean and jeggings, sometimes all we need is a camisole to nip, tuck and smooth us out!

When you are looking for summer shapewear for all your summer activities and get togethers, remember LIPO IN A BOX is known to be breathable!  When you are planning those special occasions, vacations, cruises or just dinner out with friends and want to look your best, make sure you check on or  for our many styles of LIPO IN A BOX.  You will find many styles to choose from to compliment most any outfit you might be wearing.

Janie Bryant the stylist from Mad Men, featured LIPO IN A BOX thigh shaping bodysuit in a segment on Dr. Oz yesterday.   She suggested this style from LIPO IN A BOX for anyone who was looking for ‘all over’ shaping.  This style was featured in First Magazine for Women in the past with the exact same comments, stating it is the perfect choice for ‘all over shaping’.  The style number is 46300, found at

We hope you and your family are enjoying a fabulous and memorable summer of 2012. 

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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Lynchburg Coupon Mama: "Stacy" Go2 Bra Review

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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Lipo In A Box – Full Body Shapewear

Dr Oz shapewear, lipo in a box, flexees easy up unitard, rago longline bra

Janie Bryant (costume designer from “Mad Men”) joined Dr. Oz on stage to talk about ways to hide those “imperfections” on a woman’s body in an instant. A member from the audience named Stacey came on stage to talk about her dilemma. She said that she wanted to look great in a dress. Janie recommended that she try the Lipo In A Box as a remedy to smooth, firm, and shape the entire body. Stacey then came out in a dress wearing the “Lipo In A Box” and looked fantastic.

Janie Bryant told Dr. Oz that the undergarments and shapewear products used today can give you that hourglass shape by slimming your body all over (waist, butt, thighs, etc..)

You can find the full collection of LIPO IN A BOX Shapewear at Select styles are available at and Amazon.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

GO2 BRAS ...on QVC during Fashion Week!

Even with the cold and snowy weather, I loved being at QVC this weekend to bring back our GO2 BRAS, you love so much! Thanks for making them ‘customer TOP rated’ on QVC.

With all the spring fashions you have been introduced to during Fashion Week on QVC, I know you are ready for warmer temperature and brighter colors in your wardrobe. Our Vivien 3-way convertible GO2 BRA (QVC #A219935) will be the perfect complement to your spring fashions. With the versatility of wearing it as a halter, racerback and even 3 adjustments when wearing it as a basic bra…it truly will be your GO2 BRA for spring and summer.

I enjoy being a part of AM Style and seeing all the great pieces Leah Williams had in the show Saturday. Leah is such a joy to work with. George Simonton and I spend some time chatting in the green room about how great QVC is to bring a full range of sizes for women. I shared with him how much I love how his designs really flatter a woman with curves. He pointed out how the Vivien GO2 BRA and it’s convertibility, would work great for many of his peep-a-boo tops for women of all sizes. It is awesome to speak with someone who truly loves what they do, and George Simonton really has passion for his work, both designing and teaching.

Fashion Friday was a great show this past week. I always love working with Pat DeMentri and Jayne Brown. The energy these two women put into the show is fantastic and contagious. You know exactly what I mean, if you tune into QVC's Fashion Friday often. They both love LIPO IN A BOX and enjoy telling others about it. If you missed the show make sure you check out the video online for our LIPO IN A BOX shaping camisole (QVC #A211471). This is an ideal shapewear piece for spring, as we shed our layers of clothing with warmer temperatures and work on shedding the few pounds that sometimes come with winter, as well.

Our Mychelle GO2 BRA was also featured in Fashion Friday. It is back and in black, by popular demand! It seamless, feminine and comfortable, everything you are looking for in an everyday bra. (QVC #A219937)

I look forward to seeing you again soon on QVC. We have more great things coming from LIPO IN A BOX and GO2 Bras.

If you are on FB, please LIKE us at

My best to you,

Connie Elder

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Mychelle GO2 BRA is BACK!!!!

I am counting down the days until Fashion Friday on QVC is here! You have been calling and emailing your request that I bring back the Mychelle GO2 Bra to QVC.

Your wait is over and guess what? You ask for black and it is Back in Black!

Mychelle GO2 BRA is a fabulous, feminine, seamless and exceptionally comfortable everyday bra...the perfect GO2 Bra. The size range is 34-42; B-DDD, yes DDD, too!

Join Pat, Jane and I for the return of Mychelle on QVC. We will also have our popular LIPO IN A BOX Shaping Camisole in the show.

See you Friday Morning! 6-9a ET on QVC Shopping Channel or

Mychelle GO2 BRA is #A219937
Lipo in a Box Shaping Cami is #A211473

Monday, February 06, 2012

Stop Wearing the Wrong Bra

Whether you open a magazine or turn on the television, you are likely to be inundated with advertisements for the next, best solution to your bra problem. And yet, with all of the choices, it is estimated by industry experts that 80-85% of women continue wearing the wrong size bra.

Age, weight fluctuation and gravity play significant roles in changing bra sizes over time.

Manufacturers say that the average size of the American breast has grown from 36C to 36DD and note that many curvier women are reluctant to accept wearing a D cup or larger. Still, it is estimated that up to 40% of women should actually be wearing a D cup or above.

The right bra can literally perform miracles. It can reverse the appearance of aging and make a woman look 15 or 20 pounds lighter. When the ‘girls’ are contained, you’ll rediscover your waistline!

What are some of the signs that you may need a different size?

· Does your underwire poke your breast?

· Are your breasts spilling out of your bra cups in front or under the arms?

· Is the strap across your back riding up?

· Are your breasts not where they used to be under your clothes? No wants low hanging breasts!

· Have you gained or lost 10-15 pounds without considering a different size bra?

· Have you been pregnant or nursed a child and notice a different fit in your bra?

· Have you just never felt that you’ve found a comfortable fit?

It’s important to understand the science behind women’s products. My background in the medical industry has been invaluable in developing products that meet the needs of women with curves.

A woman’s breast is three-dimensional, with weight that needs to be lifted based on age, gravity and size. The cup of a 34D is not the same as the cup of a 38D. Women need to understand all of the aspects of a good fit, and not get hung up on letters and numbers. If you’re a DDD, lift them, support them and be grateful for them!

I teach women about proper fit, and we do private fittings at our office.

The band size comes first, and surprise, you do not measure under the breast for accuracy! Rather, wrap the measuring tape around your back, under the arms and above the breast at the cleavage. This will provide a more accurate measurement, especially as we age.

For cup size, wrap the measuring tape around your back and across the fullest part of the bust. Subtracting this number from the band measurement is a guide to the proper cup. The difference establishes cup size with a 1 inch difference being an A, and up to 7 inches of difference being a DDDD. It’s not an exact science but an excellent guide, though women should know that brands vary.

Remember, your bra should be like a good friend that you love to be around because she’s ‘uplifting and supportive’!

In closing...I would love for you to come by and LIKE us at Let us know what styles you are looking for and hear about new releases and specials FIRST!

Also, tune in to QVC Fashion Friday Show 10 February 2012 for the re-launch of 'customer TOP rated' Mychelle GO2BRA by Lipo in a Box! We will also be showing a shaping camisole from LIPO IN A BOX shapewear line.

Again on Saturday, February 11th we will be back for QVC AM Style with Vivien GO2 BRA by Lipo in a Box. Vivien is a 3-way convertible, seamless, customer TOP rated bra, too!

If you miss the shows, check them out online at Item numbers A219935 and A219937! Just remember last time they were on air they SOLD OUT!